Prayer is a major part of my daily spiritual practice, and I've gotten to the point where my first thought upon waking automatically is "Hi God!" Except when the Dobies wake me up too early, then it's more like "Goddammit." But the Dobies are with their Dad right now (we share custody), so this Sunday morning I lounged and luxuriated in bed, saying my prayers and asking for guidance.
You know how sometimes a song randomly pops into your brain and you're certain it's some kind of sign or theme you'd be wise to heed? Laying in bed this morning I heard Peter Frampton's lyrics, Oh won't you show me the way... Quite apropos!
Life continues to be a long strange trip of faith-building for me. Confusion abounds; recently I've made difficult but necessary choices; and unanswered questions fly through my brain morning, noon and night. I'm diligent about asking for guidance and fairly vigilant, I think, when it comes to paying attention.
So this morning I asked for the umpteenth time, "What am I supposed to do next?"
Got up. Put on bathrobe. Bathroom. Then the computer to check Facebook. The very first words I read were a comment on my status yesterday. My friend Stephanie wrote, "Write a book. I'm serious. I'd read it."
To which I burst out laughing! Could the answer be any clearer? And how perfectly aligned with this month's Full Moon message: It's time to claim your true gifts, whatever it takes. That might mean turning yourself inside out, to heal from psychic-emotional wounds that prevent you from stepping into creative power.
How this will help my income I don't know, but I guess at this point that isn't my business. My business is to do the work I'm clearly being called to do. As my friend Tom says, "God pays for what God orders." So you know what? I'm going to do it. I am going to carve out time every week to write. It's been a long time coming -- years of writer's retreats and blogging and procrastinating and encouragement from friends and family.
What I know beyond a shadow of a doubt is that it doesn't matter what I think or feel or fear. I asked for an answer and it could not have come any more quickly or clearly! I'm fairly sure I know what the book is going to be about -- Women at Rest -- but I'm also open. And that is the best way for me to be.
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